It may seem like exactly what you don’t want to do, but believe it or not cutting off contact with your ex can help a lot when you do decide to actively pursue a relationship with him. Rebuilding a life with him can be a lot simpler and easier after a term of about a month with no contact between you…and here are a few reasons why.
1) Usually when two people who’ve been fighting continue to be around each other when tempers are still high, it causes more problems. Separating for a month or so functions as damage control, keeping you two from lashing out at one another and making things worse.
After that month of peace, you and your ex will be a lot less actively hostile. Breakups spin a lot of emotion around, and once that’s settled some real healing can begin…but not before. If you give yourselves this break, the results will be way more successful.
2) Friction aside, being too much together after a breakup can also make it feel like nothing’s changed because of the breakup. Even if things are peaceful between you, still being together all the time cuts out a lot of the impact of being “separated.” Your ex won’t see the need to get back together, because he probably won’t get the full feeling that you ever really broke up.
It’s like the old expression “you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.” If you’re still there, he can’t miss you, and he won’t full understand what he’s missing out on by having broken up with you. If you’re still friendly after a breakup, there’s still something there that could be a seed for another shot…but if he never understands that he really doesn’t have you anymore, he won’t feel the need to take you back.
3) When everything’s going to pieces, and your ex is right in front of you all the time, it can be hard to make the right decisions. Flying by the seat of your pants reacting instead of just acting, you’ll find it a lot tougher to work this out. What you need is some time and space alone to develop a plan of action.
People in this situation can act really oddly, and to get the results you want you may not be able to just naturally come to the right choices. You have to have a plan, or you’re shooting in the dark and will probably end up hitting yourself in the foot. This freedom of time and space will let you reason out a plan that will actually work, rather than just doing whatever feels right (since it’s often actually the wrong idea).
Any person fresh out of a breakup with the intention to get her ex back should take this advice seriously. You’ve seen a few of the reasons, so I’m sure you understand the benefits of this separation…actually doing it can be hard. It’s tough to be apart from the person you care for, but in some ways that’s what you’re banking on. Just rest assured that this will help, and when you get through it you’ll find it much easier to find happiness again with your ex. I wish you the best of luck.

